I am Hayley. I am a mom, stepmom, an ex-wife, a “second wife” and a daughter of divorced parents. I wish I could say I was raised by parents who had an amicable relationship after their divorce, however, unfortunately, I cannot. Being raised by very bitter parents had more of an impact on my decisions in life than I care to admit. My first marriage, yep I’ve been married twice, was one I was not emotionally equipped to handle. I married very young to a man 12 years my senior. The marriage would end 8 years later along with a very long and costly custody battle of my then four-year-old son.
I married my second husband due to needing a knight in shining armor. I was emotionally, physically and financially drained from my prior divorce, and thought I needed “being taken care of” by marriage number two. I couldn’t be more wrong! What I “needed” was a coach, someone who will listen, encourage and offer guidance. My second marriage involved becoming a stepmother and the spouse of an alcoholic which lasted over 16 years, and for one reason only: because I was scared to be on my own as a single mother. I will always live with one regret which is not leaving sooner. I did not have the courage nor encouragement to be confident in my ability to be a successful woman on my own.
That fear crippled me most of my adult life until the day I had my “ah-ha” moment and realized that as long as I had my wonderful relationship with my son, I could leave my dysfunctional marriage behind and not continue to live a life of shame, guilt, and regret, but one of hope, balance, peace and happiness! I divorced my husband, gave up what many considered a very “comfortable” life, and with my young adult son, moved across the country to a very small town in a state where we didn’t know a soul, to begin this journey we call life.
Because I am a Certified Divorce Coach, I possess the knowledge and skillset to help navigate you through the divorce process. Within a few months, I made lifelong friendships that I had never had, was nominated (two years consecutively) for the Woman of Influence Award and studied NVC (non-violent communication) teachings of Marshall Rosenberg. Through this journey, I found something priceless along the way: my BEST self. Divorce is not always the problem, sometimes it’s the solution to a problem. The key is to endure the process of a divorce with dignity, and often to do so, a divorce coach is an option to gain hope and encouragement from an unbiased support system.
I learned to survive but most importantly thrive! If I could do it so can you and I will be your support system every step of the way.